I have been heterosexually active since my early teens but I have rarely ejaculated during foreplay or sex. I don't have this problem if I masturbate alone. I have had a number of short-lived straight relationships. Several years ago, with an open mind, I tried gay sex. I knew and liked a gay man so we went out a few times. The first time we were naked in bed together, I was sober and I vomited. I know that I am straight but still I can't come inside or outside a woman. I've tried sex with condoms , without condoms, I get in all sorts of positions, I love foreplay and caressing and taking my time but I just can't come. My current girlfriend is definitely the woman I want to marry and have children with.
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Whenever I masturbate I can ejaculate with no problems. I have not talked to her about this. Would it help if I were to not masturbate for a while, and then try sex? Your notion of experimentation is good, as you need to find ways of bridging the gap between solo sex and partner sex — and to practise them until they become easy and habitual. You could try masturbating first, but if that is secretive, you may run the risk of establishing a style that is difficult to change. Rather, aim to incorporate self-pleasuring into your love-making sessions with your girlfriend as a preferred bridging method. Try masturbating to finish in her presence preferably after satisfying her. Some couples even prefer mutual masturbation as a climaxing technique.
Difficulty Ejaculating: Myths vs Reality.
Our regular sexologist, Dr Gabrielle Morrissey, gives this reader some advice. Male anorgasmia — the inability to have an orgasm — is more common than most would think. In fact, a US study found that while about half of the women questioned admitted to faking orgasm, more than a quarter of the men surveyed did too. Your distress is understandable because you have boxed yourself into a difficult situation and there is no getting out of it unless you tell the truth. It may be uncomfortable in the short term to do so, but it is for long-term gain, both for you personally as well as for your relationship. Not only is it difficult to conceive a baby without ejaculation , but by deceiving your partner you are propelling your relatively new relationship backwards.
I'm a guy who's had many sexual partners and I've managed to ejaculate through sex only some times. The other times I either just didn't come or my erection went down. I have no trouble getting erect in the first place. And especially now with my new girlfriend we're in love , I can't get an orgasm at all, not even from a handjob and that was normally a dead cert. Please Alice, how can I have sex and an orgasm with my girlfriend? I don't know what to do! My boyfriend has no trouble becoming sexually aroused around me, but when we try to have sex, he just doesn't seem to be able to actually have an orgasm and ejaculate. He only has had one with hand stimulation when hand cream is involved, but not otherwise.